Saturday, April 09, 2005

The view from the front porch

There are certain things I will not tolerate from any person who may become close to me:

-Drugs of any kind
-control freaks
-heavy drinkers
-intolerance of any kind
-closed-mindedness (if you are a Christian and still find reasons to dislike entire groups of people, yes, you are closed minded, and no, that's NOT Christian. Read.)
-anyone just out for a "free ride"... And that includes those thinking they're getting some. You're not.
-phony personalities

So here's my question:

Why is it that most people seem to find many, if not all, of the items on this list attractive in themselves?

There are a thousand justifications, and I've heard them all. Frankly, I simply don't care. We are all here for a very short time and we're all in this together. There's absolutely no point in trying to be someone you're not or trying to drown your miseries in some other ridiculous manner.

I don't always like where I am in life. Most people have been into an unhealthy or otherwise bad situation at some point or another. Life is all about the ups and downs. But I though I've done some stupid things in the past and made my share of mistakes, I like who I am deep down. I know I'm honest and I know I'm true to myself and those close to me.

People have this weird intense fear of each other and seem to feel a need to project someone else entirely to the rest of the world. Maybe that's why the whole corporate thing is so unattractive to me. It's like a breeding ground for facades. The higher you want to get, the more people you need to fool. Regardless of the amount of money involved, how is that indicative of true happiness?

I live in a rented duplex. It's large for my purposes. We have trees around our house and a little market across the street in our quiet neighborhood of very old homes in a mid-size city. We have lots of clutter, and though none of it has any cash value, we value what we have. It's not the dream I have for the future, but it's good enough for now.

My dream is that one day I'll write and maybe work in a small office. We'll live in an old, drafty farmhouse in the country with a barn just for playing in. We'll have a big yard and lots of trees, with a tire swing hanging from the biggest and strongest one. Maybe I'll get married again. We'll sit on the back porch swing drinking iced tea or lemonade and watch the kids playing outside as the day settles into dusk. I'm a very simple person. And that's simply all I want out of life.

1 comment:

letti said...

never stop pursuing your dreams girl :) With your determination, I just know you'll succeed :)