Thursday, August 25, 2005

If there is ONE thing you should know, it is this:

Please feel free to copy and PASS ON the following post:

When someone you know tells you they are being abused, it will not matter how fervently you try to tell them to leave the situation. They will stay. They are in fear. That fear controls them. It surrounds them and binds them in a death grip. Statistics say more than three women per DAY will die at the hands of their husbands/boyfriends. Do not ever assume that you or someone you know might not apply to these statistics. I don't imagine those women who are now gone thought they did, either.

If someone tells you they are being abused, first tell them to get out. Then tell them to call the police. No, they usually will not listen. And if that's the case, tell them to get out and find a safe place to stay NOW, because you are going to make that call for them.

I have been there. I was there growing up, and I was naive enough to land there again in my former marriage. In both situations, I was told that I would be killed if I went to the police. Guess what? If he's got the guts to make the threat, he probably will kill you whether you stay or leave. The only way to up the odds in your favor is to GET OUT.

My own mother was in an intensive care unit for four months after my stepfather beat her. She was not expected to live at all. He had broken six ribs, fractured her skull and countless other injuries. Her entire body was swollen and mottled with purple and black. he told her then and there he would kill her. He told the four of us (I was 12 and had three younger siblings, aged 8, 3 and 1) that he would show us how a whore died. We were made to watch as he smashed iron skillets over her head and whipped her face with a steel thermos. I told him I would call the police, to which he responded, "You do, and you're next." Do you think at twelve I dared question that?

My stepfather threw my mother's battered body onto the enclosed back porch, sent us to our rooms and went to bed. My mother crawled the two blocks to her parents' home. When the police came to the house, I, refused to open the door, even though he had already passed out. The police officer had to threaten to break down the door before I would allow them to come in... But only after saying to them: "Be quiet, though! You'll wake him up!" My mother is still with him to this day. Do you want that for the person you love? Or if it's happening to you, for your children??

If you don't know of any resources, you're not alone. Most people in that kind of situation do feel powerless. Here is the number and site of an agency who will have answers for you:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) has information available on their site, or call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Remember: Do nothing, and the person in trouble is as good as dead. If you care about them (or yourself), MAKE THE CALL.

1 comment:

Juno said...

Excellent advice!