Thursday, July 07, 2005

Letting Go

I got a call today: They're rescheduling my MRI again. This makes the second time in two weeks. The machine is broken or something. It's sort of like one of those suspense movies, where you think it's gotten to the part where everything gets figured out... And then there's another twist in the plot.

It's obviously not a huge deal; not a tumor, or anything. Just the dizziness and headaches have progressed to the point (daily, now) that it's not likely to be caused by the Fibromyalgia. One guess is inner ear damage, because I get a lot of "feedback" on the left side and ringing in both ears. On the other hand, there's the dent-in-my-skull theory (snicker). I had a car accident (I'll post the pics at some point... Have to get my scanner hooked up) about 9 years ago. I was driving and was hit at approximately 45mph, direct impact. There's a possibility that the little indent in my head (where I quite often feel the majority of my headache pain) hides something that's been lurking for awhile and has decided to show itself. Nothing big. But it would explain a lot if I was actually brain damaged, like my friends think!

I've been writing away at this whole story thing... It's being written in manageable fragments, and the dates on the unfinished drafts are from back around the end of June. I'm not changing them. I'd rather have the recent space up for recent events. Just keep an eye on that right column for updates to the story.

Some of the ripples from the whole sordid event are still being ironed out. I'll post it all, for those of you keeping tabs (you know who you are). I do (though very rarely - most people are incredibly supportive) come across the occasional smug, holier-than-thou attitude. It's nothing new. I'd expect it with something like this. It's human nature to need to hold something over another's head. It makes them feel superior. We have all done it at some point or another, though we've hopefully eventually been humbled. No one person is better than another. Not one.

I came across some reminders today. I wanted to share them with you. Please remember, though: What's important is not the brand of your faith, rather simply that you have faith.

"...Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14(NIV)

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."” Matt 28:20(NIV)

"“It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches." Luke 13:19(NIV)

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."”
Hebrews 10:24(NIV)

And to those who would harm you, remember:

"“Do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:5-7NIV


Anonymous said...

I'm curious, give us a hint of what your holding back on publishing. Come on tell us or like my uncle Krause used to say, ve have vays to make you talk. ;)

Take Care,


chanemza said...

Well, Hans... (Do I know a Hans??) It's not a like a movie here, ya know. This is my life. So I'm making sure that each chapter is as complete as possible before getting it out there. It takes time, and it's exhausting.

It's a long story and I'm not throwing bloody meat to dogs (and there are a couple of meat-mongers out there).

Matter of fact, sometimes I even write funny or interesting things.

(Who the hell is Hans????